The Rovers Return is a little pub down a back street almost in central Douglas. Lurking behind the town hall it has been a regular lunching spot of mine for many years being located so close to my own place of work. As well as that I just loved it in there… it’s not a place for everyone and it is not a posh place but you could always get a good pint and a great bowl of chips, cheese and gravy.

However that was then and this is now…

The cook moved on to fatten up a local school over christmas and since then the menu has totally changed. With this in mind I ventured in to try the new offerings. A lasagne and chips for the reasonable price of £5 caught my eye and I swiftly ordered it along with a pint of their finest guest ale.

The food arrived quickly and the guys dishing it up were their usual good humoured and efficient selves. I eagerly looked down at my plate and saw this;

I was less than impressed at first sight and to be honest it didn’t get much better from here on in. I’ll start with the positive… the chips were ok. The lasagne was tasteless and horribly greasy, as you can see from the pic the cheese on the top hasn’t melted properly but there is oil pooling in the grey lasagne “sauce”.  I actually felt a little sick after a few mouthfuls and left most of it.

To the absolute credit of the guys in the Rovers they realised I had left the food as it was awful and gave me my money back without me asking for it and I felt sorry for them as they had clearly been used to the amazing food from the past few years but I have not been back since and unless I hear of a dramatic improvement I probably won’t.

I feel like something has been taken from me and it makes me sad.

Went to Pappagalli’s Italian cafe today for a leisurely lunch/brunch today.

It’s situated in the middle of Parliament Street and unlike most of Ramsey it is open on a Sunday between 10 and 3 – this is quite a nice bonus as it’s a nice change to have an option to nip out for a proper coffee on Sunday morning and a bit of light food.

With this in mind I ordered a Latte (£2.30) and decided the Brie, tomato and rocket bagel (£3.90) on the menu looked a nice option. When I went up to order I waited a little while to be served as the couple messed about in the back but the young lady who came to the counter was friendly and smiley. I ordered the “brie bagel” which wasn’t the full list of ingredients as per the menu but I assumed it would be clear what I wanted – I was wrong as there was a bit of confusion with the order but I thought it was clarified when I explained that I couldn’t remember the full menu details but that was what I wanted and that seemed to be ok.

The service was quite quick with the coffee arriving and a few short minutes later the bagel, again delivered with a friendly smile and very nicely presented on the plate.

However the order was wrong – as you can see from the photo there are sausages lurking in my bagel and no rocket. This is a mix up with the other food order I put in (which was also not correct). I suppose I could have said that it was the wrong order and I am sure they would have sorted it out but I was willing to carry on as I am quite fond of sausages

The bagel was nicely toasted – not hard or too crispy as often happens and the ingredients were tasty, sausages were nicely cooked and the bagel was filled so that you had plenty to eat but not spilling everywhere, it had clearly been created with a bit of care and attention not slopped together. The coleslaw on the side was a nice accompanyment but not that tasty – I suspect supermarket bought – and the lettuce was fresh. However I am not convinced it was worth £4…. it was something I could easily make at home to a similiar level.

As a whole I can’t make my mind up about the place. I want to like it. It’s something different in Ramsey and I respect their work ethic – it looks like a young couple running the place and they are open 7 days a week and late nights on Thurs – Sat so I can’t fault them for trying but it feels like they’re doing too much. The style from the outside is nice and classy and they are obviously going for an Italian feel throughout. Inside I love the furniture in there with chairs that remind me of my grandmothers house and a friendly relaxed atmosphere but they then have a few pictures of bikes and a poster of Che Guevara which just look random and out of place. The name of the place is a parrot (according to google anyway!) but I see no other reference to that afterwards so you’re left just wondering why the odd name.

The menu has panini’s, bagels, sandwiches and baps… it just seems far too much variety of bread and while we were there they had run out of bagels and weren’t serving smoothies. It makes me think maybe they are trying too many different things rather than stick to a few things they can get right. It seems madness that they open without enough bagels to cope with demand, if they have such a basic ingredient missing from the menu it doesn’t bode well.

I’m going to give this 3 out of 5 stars because it has so much potential, the food was good, presented well and the service friendly but they let themselves down with simple things not being 100% right.

I kind of feel good for it, it’s only lunchtime and I have done a number of things and still have hours left in the day. Had a leisurely coffee and cheesecake and generally not wasted hours asleep in bed so that I can wake up and still feel tired.

However right now I could murder a nap.

I spend 5 days a week wishing away my life just waiting for the 2 days of a weekend and yet come sunday night I always turn around and think…. what have I done? I can’t seem to be happy with lazing about relaxing but equally if I am out doing stuff I return home shattered and annoyed at the lack of housework equally I spend a day cleaning and look out the window feeling I have missed out on life.

I suspect the conundrum is more down to my half empty outlook on life but I’d like to believe I’m not alone.

Having said that I’d hate to be falling into the same banal trap of a cliched middle class lifestyle like the tv and films suggest… cleaning your car sunday morning and trimming the hedge. Reading a paper over a filter coffee and croissant whilst feeling smug about something…. probably a pair of organic loafers or something. I rather suspect I will wake up one day and find myself doing exactly that.

Tonight I tore up and threw out 3 or 4 empty boxes and all the while dreading that I will soon be regretting the act.

I appreciate after months on not writing a blog this isn’t going to break the world but I had to get it off my chest.

The Jamju Pie (working title) is the glorious east meets west combination of curry, pastry and mash! After a long discussion about how mashed potatoe could breathe new life in as the alternative to rice the fruition shall be born.

As I am intensely lazy I decided that quick fixes such as take away Chicken Bhuna, pre rolled pastry and (much against my love of mash) some M&S pre made mash spud were involved in this recipe to increase speed. I suppose I could include the cheese here as well seeing as I decided against milking a cow months ago to produce my own.

As I let the oven pre heat I started to prepare the dish and instantly my dream turned to nightmare as the pre rolled sheet of pastry that I was promised cracked like an egg in front of me. Clearly I had been led up the wrong path by this quick and easy golden egg. Or something. Anyways I moved swiftly on to my second horror as I laid the pastry strips carefuly into the dish and pressed them down before realising I had not greased the damn bowl. 5 minutes and much swearing later I had extracted all pastry, greased and replaced said pastry. As the pastry needed to cook but the rest needed to warm I decided to slip it in the oven for 5 minutes or so to get a head start.

After taking it out of the oven I poured the warm Bhuna into the pie to which it fitted like a glove, having breathed a sigh of relief at dodging that bullet I started spooning the mash on top – no fancy pants moulding of the creamy white goodness I went for good old fashioned splodging. A generous grating of mature cheddar to finish the job and a slap back in the oven til it looked ready – about 15 minutes I’d say.

I realised after a few moments that I had omitted the fresh red onion I’d bought. Both from the meal and also the list of items I hadn’t grown myself.

Well the spoon has been put down, the bowl is empty and the stomach is probably too full. What a tasty treat… I don’t know if I’ll be able to use rice ever again now… that was truly amazing even with my intense bias. Now I shall have to settle down and see what The Mighty Q comes up with… especially with his feta cheese tactics… I regret nothing of the vintage cheddar and am more certain than ever that it was the right choice…. in fact I think it needs more melty cheddar goodness.

From now on I think this needs refining and testing to discover the best type of curry to combine this with… looking forward to more experiments

I bought some new glasses about 2/3 weeks ago and was told they’d be ready on the 13^th August, which is fine… I can wait a few days for things to be ready and don’t expect them to be done next day. But when I went in on the 13^th they are nowhere to be seen and no one seems to know where they are – the staff while friendly enough phone up to the magical back office store room and it seems that they have more interest in the weekends events than my glasses. Two more trips to see them and it pretty much seems that they’ve lost my glasses… thing is I just stand there nod and walk away saying “that’s ok” it’s just not in my nature to get angry and I figure I will no doubt deal with them again in the future and don’t want to have them pissed off or be embarrassed about it all. And yet…. They just keep getting away with it. I deal with customers who jump up and down and are horrible and I sit here and think evil thoughts but then deal with them professionally and don’t hold prejudice over them in future so why do I constantly roll over when I’ve been mistreated? I’m down £250 but at what point do I ask for my money back or get my money back? They haven’t upheld their end of the bargain but what can I do about it? Nothing? I contemplate writing a letter of complaint but realistically what will I get back? Some half assed apology letter that is meaningless? Meanwhile I’ll probably go down in some little book as “that guy who wrote a letter and got us shouted at” and will get even worse service ever after. Maybe I’m just paranoid.

Pizza King is an establishment and an owner I feel sorry for though – it’s very good at what it does. Good food and I would find it hard to name a take away on the Island that has as nice an interior to sit in while waiting for and eating food. Not to mention it’s opening hours. The owner is always friendly smiley offering great service and cooks a mean pizza. Her employees however are clearly not cut from the same clay. Barely able to speak English… and I don’t mean foreign, most of them appear to be Manx/British just completely unable to use the language they have had since birth. They look like they would rather kill themselves than be there and their ability to take simple orders off a menu and then calculate the right amount… or to be honest even know what things cost is quite frankly an embarrassment to the manx education system and their gene pool. Also the one thing that consistently annoys the heavily pedantic side of me is the sheer volume of spelling mistakes on their menu. I mean… Salapeno Pepper? Piza King Special? Donna Kebbab??? Frightening…

Once again we were the only “adults” there without children and we were far more vocal and the only people there sporting signs – this also got us an invite backstage to meet the wrestlers from the announcer “as her personal guest”. I kind of flit between pride and shame on this…. I love going there and making some noise and having a tonne of fun making signs beforehand and to a certain extent repaying the wrestlers, they put on a show for my entertainment so in return I cheer and boo and wave signs and make them feel like they’ve made an impression on people rather than just another bunch of faceless kids or not arsed parents. I suppose I think of when I play gigs and what makes an evening is having the crowd look like they genuinely enjoyed themselves because of you. Xtreme Dean came running right over to us with a big smile on his face loving our posters and he was really keen to have us add him on myspace afterwards which made the evening – just like the midget absolutely loving our sign and wanting a picture taken with us and the sign. They looked really happy to be there and seemed to want to come back.

Other than that excitement the MGP is due to be on this week although the weather is shocking at the moment. I’ll get out and marshal when I can but I’m still pretty disillusioned by the whole organisation and health and safety… it just seems a far cry from 10 years ago when I started. Less of a friendly event and more red tape and pointless beaurocracy all designed to stop some ignorant bastards forming legal action because they’re unable to accept personal responsibility for their own actions.

Next weekend should have lots to look forward to as well with the snake race down castletown on Saturday with Team DKY once again embarrassing ourselves and the IOM Transport beer challenge on the Sunday which should hopefully be lots of fun and not too messy!

I have loads of time to spend doing what I wish and I waste it…. so as I sat in work today reading this; http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/7530594.stm I felt quite guilty.

I have a tonne of projects and chores and god knows wha else I need to get done… I mean I need to sit down and practice Plug In Baby by Muse for band – Jon has really put effort in for it and I am holding it back which makes me feel like a cunt… and yet I spent tonight after practice sitting on here playing champ man and pissing about watching south park drinking cider and gin.

oh well there’s always tomorrow.

I need to have a project on the go at all times. I’ve not really picked up on this cause the africa rally stuff has always been horrenduously long term like 8 months run in but after Timbuktu we jumped straight into the Allegro…. only that was far too far away and after the initial excitement has dwindled onto the back burner. Enter DKY and all its many facets. I bought a digital camcorder last week and I can justify it all I like it’s to film the crazy shit on road trips or DKY. As Danny Wallace had it – boy projects.

So enter the latest incarnation the Port Erin Soapbox Derby. I’ve never been to it or seen it or have any real inclination to soapbox derby except for seeing it once on an episode of the simpsons. I think scouse is a good outlet for these things and I can take on a role or organiser. I’d never really do this sort of thing myself and even if I did I’d feel bad about demanding peoples time to help me but…. to turn it into a big piss take with scouse the willing figurehead…. it’s amazing how many people rally behind the cause. And what a cause… who wouldn’t like to see scouse roll down a hill in port erin in a big pink…. go kart….. of course as it happens we accidentally made it look like a giant pink penis. Really that just adds to the fun. I just hope the organisers will overlook this small issue. Overall thought Saturday was a great laugh – started with a McDonalds breakfast which whilst full of grease and just plain wrong is always a great way to start a day. I spent most of the day sat back watching James work his magic and everyone else chip in with ideas and piss taking until we had the kart in all its penis shaped glory. Great day.

Sunday was raft race day. Another event I seemed to have organised this time with work people. I am not really a water sport kinda guy (fnar fnar) but I’ve done this 4 times now and really enjoy it every time… sad really. We came something like 7th out of 20 and there was a good turn out and we all had fun. I enjoyed my one solitary beer before driving home and definitely enjoyed my sleep once I got home, I think I’m getting old.

Tonight sharon is cooking some form of gammon and coca cola dish which sounds wrong, looks wrong and yet smells lovely… which is wrong. Clearly. If I live I’ll report on how it tastes.

I fucking hate the long way down and long way round and charley boorman and ewan mcgregor.

To be fair…. although why the hell should I?…. I do still love ewan mcgregor for his film roles etc BUT…. the fucking bike stuff is such a “tv” adventure – it’s all acting… there are a tonne of film crew and mechanics and doctors and people to oil wheels and everything is fucking paid for them and brand spanking new… oh is that a problem with your bike? just take it back to the factory for a repair and airlift it back out no worries – fuck you! you’ve not had an adventure unless the shit hits the fan and you’re on your own… and I mean on your own – not a whole 10 minutes away from a crew specialised to help you.

Bastards…

Also the whole holier than thou charity thing they do really gets on my nerves….

Fuckers